Here is something no one tells you clearly enough: you cannot know who you are marrying. Not fully. Not permanently. The person you marry at 27 is not the person they will be at 37 or 47. You know this. But most people act like the goal is to find someone who will stay exactly as they are.
It is not. The goal is to find someone who believes what you believe about marriage - that you find someone you align with and you make it work, no matter what. That the changes are something you face together, not something you cite when you are leaving.
It does not matter if you have dated for six years or six months. People still change. Time before marriage does not insure you against the changes that come after. What insures you - as much as anything can - is character. The person they are in how they handle difficulty. The person they are when things are not going well. The person they are in Confession, in prayer, in how they treat people they have no reason to impress.
Everything else is risk management.
You cannot eliminate the risk. You can only manage it thoughtfully. You are not looking for certainty. You are looking for someone whose character gives you confidence that whatever comes, you will face it together.
This is why the obvious things matter: do not marry someone whose foundational beliefs are unstable or malleable based on culture and trend. Do not marry someone who has no faith, or a purely convenient faith. Because when things get hard - and they will - you need someone who has something to hold onto that is bigger than their feelings.
You marry someone of genuine faith and character, someone who believes in the permanence of what they are choosing - there is less margin for error. Not zero. Less.
That is the best you can do. And it is enough to act on.
