Hello 👋🏻 I have been doing various fasts since 2024. When I was doing it alone, I was capable of completing it and sticking to quite rigid and extreme fasts. In the past year until now, however, it has been quite challenging because I am often with other Catholics, and they express much concern about my fasting habit. Some often go so far as to dissuade me from doing so. Not maliciously, but out of concern.
Note: I don't broadcast my fast. I would rather be alone when I am fasting so that I wouldn't have to go through all of the trouble of explaining it. But, I am placed in social situations (with grand feasts even) all the while being called to fast.
My question is - how do you maintain an active and highly social lifestyle while still being able to fast and not garner unnecessary attention to oneself while also not having to break fasts all the time for others out of "charity"?
@trulytheresemarie
May 11, 2026
Question about Fasting
12 comments
12 Comments
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@the_catechized_coachMay 11I think there’s a couple different questions here so I’ll answer them both the best I can.
1. You’re fasts shouldn’t be to the point of damaging your health so if your going days or weeks without food while working out or being active, I would look deeply into if you’re called to do that specifically. Fasting does not only include food although fasting from food has its benefits in the spiritual life.
I am often with others on Fridays and abstain from meat so I make my preferences known that I want to go somewhere or eat something without meat but fish is ok.
2. If you will be in the presence of others and offered food, you can say no. (American so I understand other cultures are different). If refusing would be seen as uncharitable, then as for a small portion and explain you’re fasting. This is not garnering unnecessary attention. You’re simply stating your boundaries around food the same way I would if I’m on a specific diet.
1. You’re fasts shouldn’t be to the point of damaging your health so if your going days or weeks without food while working out or being active, I would look deeply into if you’re called to do that specifically. Fasting does not only include food although fasting from food has its benefits in the spiritual life.
I am often with others on Fridays and abstain from meat so I make my preferences known that I want to go somewhere or eat something without meat but fish is ok.
2. If you will be in the presence of others and offered food, you can say no. (American so I understand other cultures are different). If refusing would be seen as uncharitable, then as for a small portion and explain you’re fasting. This is not garnering unnecessary attention. You’re simply stating your boundaries around food the same way I would if I’m on a specific diet.
@the_catechized_coachMay 11(Hit character limit)
As long as your fasting is healthy and not causing you to go malnourished then this shouldn’t be an issue for your friends and family, Catholic or not.
As long as your fasting is healthy and not causing you to go malnourished then this shouldn’t be an issue for your friends and family, Catholic or not.
@trulytheresemarieMay 12@the_catechized_coach in hindsight, I think the challenge was also largely on my people-pleasing side. I didn't know how to say no, and I often presumed that my refusal would insult or hurt them.
To add, fasting is not a common practice in the communities I am currently part of. Meal times are often "bonding" moments, and if you're seen not eating, others would notice.
To add, fasting is not a common practice in the communities I am currently part of. Meal times are often "bonding" moments, and if you're seen not eating, others would notice.
@misericordiaMay 11I'd first look into what your fasts are right now. If you already say that they're extreme yourself & many people around you say so - then maybe they are too extreme. Just make sure it doesn't damage your health. I've always heard that for extreme fasts, you should ask your confessor for "permission" to do it to make sure it's really the right thing for your spiritual growth.
Then for your other questions - you could simply tell them that you're fasting, without explaining the details of your fast. It's fine to refuse food that way. Usually people will understand and it's not uncharitable. That might depend on your culture and the social situation though - if there's an important family feast for example, you could eat some because it's a special occasion, while refusing to eat at meals with friends that you have more often.
(character limit - continued in second comment)
Then for your other questions - you could simply tell them that you're fasting, without explaining the details of your fast. It's fine to refuse food that way. Usually people will understand and it's not uncharitable. That might depend on your culture and the social situation though - if there's an important family feast for example, you could eat some because it's a special occasion, while refusing to eat at meals with friends that you have more often.
(character limit - continued in second comment)
@trulytheresemarieMay 12Yes, they are extreme. But, in many instances, they were called for.
I got tired of having to "convince" others that this is what I was called to do, which made me not want to talk about it or spend any time with them anymore. I literally had to pray a Lectio Divina session with them just so that they would believe that God called me to fast (and during that time, it wasn't even an extreme fast).
I got tired of having to "convince" others that this is what I was called to do, which made me not want to talk about it or spend any time with them anymore. I literally had to pray a Lectio Divina session with them just so that they would believe that God called me to fast (and during that time, it wasn't even an extreme fast).
@misericordiaMay 12@trulytheresemarie Yes, can imagine you'd get tired of that... I'm sorry your situation is like that. Remember, fasting eventually is between you and God. Others can talk about their concerns, but if you know this really is what you're called to, you don't owe them any explanation.
They'll understand. And if not, that's up to them - all you have to do is keep any explanations as simple as possible and then just continue and be charitable, that's the best witness you could give.
They'll understand. And if not, that's up to them - all you have to do is keep any explanations as simple as possible and then just continue and be charitable, that's the best witness you could give.
@misericordiaMay 11(part two)
Also, if you have to eat out of charity, you can decide to eat more simply. So eat simple bread instead of an extravagant lunch, for example.
Traditionally, in Catholic "fasting" there is both fasting and abstinence, so eating less (for example what's now the "one meal a day and two small-sized" thing), and eating simpler things (for example what's now the "no meat" thing) - those used to be stricter in the past though.
So when you have to break the fast, you could still choose to abstain from certain foods too.
Also, if you have to eat out of charity, you can decide to eat more simply. So eat simple bread instead of an extravagant lunch, for example.
Traditionally, in Catholic "fasting" there is both fasting and abstinence, so eating less (for example what's now the "one meal a day and two small-sized" thing), and eating simpler things (for example what's now the "no meat" thing) - those used to be stricter in the past though.
So when you have to break the fast, you could still choose to abstain from certain foods too.
@trulytheresemarieMay 12I appreciate this. I struggle with the all-or-nothing mentality, and it spills over my fasting and eating habits. What I am currently trying to learn is prudence and contentment in my eating habits (which I hope would be fruitful in the end).
Thank you for your input 🤗
Thank you for your input 🤗
@misericordiaMay 12@trulytheresemarie Very relatable. Moderation is really a virtue, also about being in the middle of all-or-nothing! I'm sure that will be fruitful for you. Praying for you!!
@the_catechized_coachMay 12@trulytheresemarie came here to say the same about prudence and not giving into the all or nothing mindset! It’s extremely harmful in both faith AND fitness.
If you have more questions or want a guide to fasting when you still have to be around others who aren’t, let me know!
If you have more questions or want a guide to fasting when you still have to be around others who aren’t, let me know!
@trulytheresemarieMay 20@the_catechized_coach thank you so much! A guide to fasting while being with others would really be of great help. Actually need one right now 😆
Will be attending a business meeting at a cafe with other Catholics, but I do water fasts on Wednesdays. I guess the struggle is with knowing how to say it without me feeling like it is a "big deal" for them.
Will be attending a business meeting at a cafe with other Catholics, but I do water fasts on Wednesdays. I guess the struggle is with knowing how to say it without me feeling like it is a "big deal" for them.
@the_catechized_coachMay 20@trulytheresemarie awesome! I think just stating you’re fasting is fine, if you don’t make it a big deal they probably won’t either.
Send me a message and I’ll put that guide together for you.
Send me a message and I’ll put that guide together for you.
