Confessions (Book 2, Chapter 2)

Greetings brothers, May the peace of Christ be with you.

In the second book of the confessions, St Augustine looks back at his teenage self, and with the clarity given to him by the Spirit, he is able to identify the core of all the brokenness, which was a primary desire to love and be loved, twisted by the machinations of the Evil one... A situation most of us are aware about and have experienced. Without further ado here it is:

_"My primary desire was simply to love and to be loved. Yet, I possessed no sense of balance. I failed to distinguish between the bright, steady light of noble friendship and the dark, murky vapors of physical craving. Both surged within me, clashing in confusion, pulling my vulnerable youth into the jagged terrain of unbridled lust until I was lost in a desert of my own making.

I was deaf to the truth, silenced by the clanking chains of my own mortality—the weight of a pride that refused to yield. I wandered further and further from You, and in Your patience, You allowed it. I was tossed about, spent, spilled out, and set to boiling by the heat of my own cravings. My beauty withered, and I became repulsive in Your sight, yet I remained obsessed with appearing attractive in the eyes of others.

What I wanted was to love, and to be loved, but I looked for it in the wrong places. I, a fool, seethed like a turbulent sea, abandoning You to chase the violent currents of my own making. I crossed all the boundaries You had set for my own protection, not because I found satisfaction in the transgression, but because I was desperate to find in the chaos of the world the peace that is only found in You."_
~St Augustine, Confessions, book 2, chapter 2

(The language was a bit old and hard to comprehend so I asked AI to give a mildly rendered version so that all can understand without hassle, I proof read it, don't worry)